Twelve reasons why I am not NYPD material

by quisquilia

1. I am not a U.S. American citizen and neither am I currently residing in NYC.
2. My command of the English language is not up to par compared with a native speaker.
3. I am not sufficiently physically fit or active. (I’m working on it, however.)
4. I sometimes find it difficult to engage someone in conversation. My patience runs thin. My social skills need some honing. Not exactly the qualifications you need for canvassing and assistance to fellow citizens.
5. I am far from the level of confidence, authority and inspiring demeanour which I’d like to see in a police officer.
6. Attrition and boredom as part of the daily grind wear me down easily. As does dull routine.
7. The required paperwork and administrative duties seem overwhelming; report writing for countless hours a daunting task.
8. I wouldn’t be able to stomach the perils and distress with which law enforcement is faced on a daily basis (pulling over a motor vehicle in a traffic stop, securing a crime scene, act as first responder in case of an accident).
9. I am not proficient with firearms except for limited experience with carnival gun shooting galleries – as a kid.
10. Despite some analytical skills, I lack the eye for detail, the knack for solving puzzles and the experience for educated guesses.
11. I am likely to defy command and hierarchy and hence fail to toe the mark. An overbearing (unwarranted) sense of independence.
12. I’m likely to choose decent food over any doughnut and coffee-on-the-go snack. (I wouldn’t know how to withstand NY’s healthy and diverse cuisine.)

Of course, this list is to be taken cum grano salis. It was inspired by an episode of binge watching of Law & Order‘s 19th & 20th season. Real information on police work and training is provided here & here.

Police officers manage all these responsibilities and more, day-in, day-out. They face ingratitude, indifference, outright hostility, and yet – they serve. There is much reason to be impressed and show respect.

If you still feel up to the task: The NYPD is recruiting.